Quotes from the Book

Circumstances do not control our ability to be happy. We do. If circumstances were responsible for our feelings, we would be powerless to change how we feel unless those circumstances changed first.” p. 132

We can’t change a lot of what happens around us in the normal course of living, and we can’t avoid daily difficulties. But we can strengthen ourselves emotionally so that the hard times don’t feel so bad and we don’t get stuck in them.” p. 1

Emotions are always new. Since emotions exist only in the current moment, each feeling is fresh and new every time.” p. 71

We are love-seeking beings. The ability to love, to experience Oneness, and the need to love are inherent in our species.” p. 103

Once you understand that all emotional shifts are transitions within the larger system you need not get caught up in the uncertainty of what rapidly changing emotions mean.” p. 77

Happiness has been a focus of American life since at least July 4, 1776. Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence that the pursuit of happiness was an inalienable right to which all people of this new nation were entitled. Jefferson was no fool: he never said we have a right to happiness itself, only the right to be free to pursue it.” p. 117

Our most dependable and adaptable emotional state is confident, relaxed and aware: the feeling that we are in a state of harmony and all our mental and emotional resources are available.” p. 118

People are built to have their conscious attention on only one thing at a time. We might pay attention to a single subject for a while or jump from one subject to another. When we do, our feelings follow.” p. 81

When we experience a loss, when we are sad or hurt or disappointed, when we feel let down, abandoned or discouraged and the feeling won’t go away, there is a process that can soften, even heal emotional pain.” p. 25

Authenticity means being emotionally integrated down to the core:
our thoughts, words and deeds truly reflect our inner being. We feel whole and balanced when we are being authentic. We also tend to be most comfortable around others whom we perceive as being authentic.” p. 50

The differences in personality from one person to the next are in large part the sum total of our emotional habits.” p. 56

For stuck, painful feelings, time stands still.” p. 37

Don’t let yourself get stuck in a low mood by thinking that just because you feel that way, it means something greater: Temporary feelings don’t necessarily mean anything.” p. 77

Attention grabbers are emotion grabbers.” p. 88

Years ago, singer Barbra Streisand sang a hugely popular song about people who need people being the luckiest people in the world. The song is really about all of us.” p. 107

Coming to grips with grief is a pathway to emotional well-being.” p. 137

Your life story is unfinished. You have an idea how you want the rest of it to turn out. Consider the joys and disappointments that got you to where you are today as pages in a history book, learn from them, and look forward.”     p. 69

Anger arises from a sense of violation. It’s always directed at someone or something: you can’t be angry at no one in particular.” p. 150

Fear always involves an element of the unknown.” p. 173

It has been said that pain and suffering teach great life lessons, but that is not quite true. Rather, it is recovery from pain and suffering that leads to understanding and imparts wisdom.” p. 147

Learning to love yourself is not complicated. In principle, it is astonishingly simple. You will not find self love discussed much in public because it is so basic and so abstract. Your friends won’t talk about it because there is so little to say.” p. 209

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